“Accepting, allowing, and interacting with your life as though it is exactly as it should be, without making yourself wrong (or right) for what you discover is the way to Self-Realization.” ~Ariel Kane

I was commentating on a bike race many moons ago. The racing was on point. The energy of the crowd was off the charts. I… was…pure…sh!t. I couldn’t get into a rhythm. I was a step behind each move in the bike race. I was a mess. It wasn’t my day. I got messaged on Twitter. I got worked over by my own sense of failure. I was a young commentator. I was green. I let it get to me.

I’ve found that life is very much like that moment in my past. Coaching, relationships and friendships are all vulnerable to failure. Either you have flow or you don’t. I had a really hard time putting that bike race behind me. I wasn’t present “at the moment”. I wasn’t ready.

Let’s look at how this translates to other parts of my/your life.

1-Training: You are all set to go for your ride, run, hike, or whatever sport you want to crush. Your sleep was on point. Nutrition was dialed. Mindset was locked in. Then it goes to hell. You can’t match the intervals you wanted to do, the splits you wanted to achieve, nothing burger. You have to be self-reliant at this moment. Do I push through it or do I continue to languish and dig a deeper hole? You realize that the hole you are digging may become BIGGER if you push through. Do you? Accept that you are human. Accept that the day was not your day.

2-Work: It’s go time in the office or your business. You’ve done all the work to get ready for a big deal, big announcement, big promotion, or something that is very important. It goes wrong. Your mindset was all good. You put in the effort to make it a complete success and it flops. I know this moment! (YOUNGER ME) I was graduating from UNCW and going to NC State to finish college. I was going to be THAT guy on your nightly news. The meteorologist. I confidently drove from Wilmington, NC to Raleigh, NC to visit the Dean of the meteorology department. I waited in his office. He came in. Sat down. “Mr. Andrews what’s your current grade in Physics?”. Uhm…” D”? “Find another career, Mr. Andrews”. DAMN. Cold. (Ironic my girlfriend at the time was a straight “A” student in Physics) That was it. I’m very happy it worked out this way. I wasn’t ready for the moment. I wasn’t ready for the journey. I am now.

3. Family and relationships. I’ve/We’ve made mistakes in every relationship. I have been documenting in my blogs where I am, and whereI came from. Where I’m “going” isn’t yet clear, but' I’m down for a journey. Have you been invested in a relationship or friendship that just didn’t work? Marriage? A good friend? Practice the art of allowing (It’s really cool!). Not attacking it. Flow is so critical in relationships, much like “flow” in sports.

I think it’s just as important to translate flow into life! When you are in a state of confusion, doubt, and anxiety….Resistance can set in.

Don’t let it.

Let go.

Tailwinds,

Chad

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Self compassion: You ain’t the only one.